Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
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Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
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Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
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Wet doesn't get Chuck Norris Chuck Norris gets wet.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter?
It sure gave them something to chew over.
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Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment?
A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
A man goes to the doctor. "Doctor, that medicine you gave me isn't working. Is there anything else I could try?".
"Fill out this tax form," suggests the doctor.
"How's that going to help me?", asks the man.
"I'm not sure," replies the doctor, "but some of my patients say it gives them relief."