Yo momma's so ugly, Freddie Kruger took a paternity test to prove he wasn't her son.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke.
The trick is that they must not laugh.
The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell.
The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs.
Finally, it’s the blondes turn.
She gets all the way to the 99th step before she laughs.
God asks her, “You were so close, why did you laugh?” and she responds, “I just got the first joke!”
Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Vote:
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
Vote: