Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Vote:
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
I'll see you next period.
Vote:
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Vote:
A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial.
When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
Vote:
My wife has given me a reason to live – revenge.
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
A: The Food!
Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room?
A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"