Best jokes ever

"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
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has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
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has 49.27 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, viagra
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks. On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club. When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said: "Mine is 10 inches long" The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing: "Here isn't a suitable place for you." The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
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has 49.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, vulgar
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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has 49.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher
What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: sex
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
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