Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris.
It failed.
Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
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What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?
Haremail.
Why do polo bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place.
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.