Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris.
It failed.
Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
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What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?
Haremail.
Why do polo bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place.
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?"
Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!