Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter? He didn't have the hare fare.
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.