Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
Chuck Norris always wins at Jenga, the tower couldn't dare to crumble.
Amazing unbelievable facts 1. Isaac Newton was alive before he died 2. It takes 60 seconds to make a minute 3. Albert Einstein was born on his birthday 4. Morgan Freeman is called Morgan Freeman because his first name is Morgan and last name is Freeman
Q:What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar? A:"Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.