Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew? A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar. One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.
Q: Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam? A: Because every time the seargeant said: "Get down!" they stood up and started dancing.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson