Best jokes ever

30 degrees... It was so cold out today that even the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, dinosaur
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked. “Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, money, old people, time, wife
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, women
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid