What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early sir", replied the defendant.
"Well that's not an crime", said the judge!
"How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened", answered the prisoner.
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
A cud thud.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
A tender, loving hare.
Where do sharks come from?
Sharkago.
The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist.
Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home.
The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself."
The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror.
The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.