Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Shhhhh... Did you hear that? Chuck did.
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.