Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once?
So people can’t see that the company works without them..
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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My wife constantly complains that I never listen to her… Or something like that.
Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They always use candles.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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