Best jokes ever

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: sport
Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet." The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun." The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back. The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun." The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: game, sport
<<<951952953954
More jokes →
Page 951 of 1428.