Best jokes ever

Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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has 48.86 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, food, tax
Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, money, time
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ugly
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