What is difference between woman and condom?
None :-)
Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
Vote:
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Vote:
God said let there be light.
Chuck Norris said say please.
Vote:
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Amazing unbelievable facts
1. Isaac Newton was alive before he died
2. It takes 60 seconds to make a minute
3. Albert Einstein was born on his birthday
4. Morgan Freeman is called Morgan Freeman because his first name is Morgan and last name is Freeman
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
Vote:
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out.
"Good God!" exclaimed the hunter.
Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me."
The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Vote:
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!”
The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?”
“No, I drove here.”