Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall? A: Captain's log.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
When customs finds something in your butt, how do you act surprised?
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
Yo mama so fat that when she played Xbox live you can see her face sticking out of your tv screen.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
Yo mama so scary, every time someone throws shots, she calls the police.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Yo mamma's so fat when she falls off a hill people call avalach.