Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion
Marraige is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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There is a lady laying in bed.
At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.”
His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.”
Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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A man walks into a nearly empty bar and orders a drink. He's sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping away, and he hears a voice.
"Nice shirt."
He looks around and sees no one nearby. He forgets about it and continues drinking.
"Nice tie," the voice says again.
He looks around a second time. The bartender and all other customers are at the other side of the room. Confused, the man calls the bartender over and asks about the mysterious voice that admired his clothing.
"Oh, that's the peanuts," the bartender said.
"The peanuts?" asked the man.
"Yeah, they're complimentary."
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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