Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
What do you call a black woman who got an abortion? A member of crimestoppers of america.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had any bites?" asked the second man. "Yes, lots," replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes."
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.