Best jokes ever

A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, "Where do you live?" "Nowhere", the first drunk replied. "And where do you live?", he asks the other. "We're neighbours."
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Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
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More jokes about: men, women
Two protons walk into the bar and run into each other. One of them falls down. "Are you OK?" asks the other. "I think so," says the proton. "You sure?" the other asks. "Yeah," says the proton..."I'm positive."
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More jokes about: alcohol
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland. The sing said: Disneyland Left. So they started crying and headed home.
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How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a king.
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Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
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Why did Tom come home drunk and leave his clothes on the floor? He was in them.
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Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
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Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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Slut - "I hate you bitch" Blonde - "Your such a slut, I bet your naked under those clothes."
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More jokes about: blonde