Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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We have a week dedicated to sharks... sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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Yo mama is so small that she plays handball on the curb.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Yo mama is so ugly she reminds me SUN, is hard to look at her.
A guy walks into a store.
He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand.
In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap.
He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
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Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.