How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
Snow. One of the rare times the phrase "8 - 12 inches" is associated with something white.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating. The American husband asked, "how did you find out?" The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’ Steve Martin