Best jokes ever

Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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has 48.38 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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has 48.38 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids, political, teacher
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ? A: He elected to receive.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: military
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids
As I stand here, and try to piss, I think of the gal that gave me this. If I see her, when I get well, I'll get it again. As sure as Hell.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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