Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion
Marraige is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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There is a lady laying in bed.
At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.”
His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.”
Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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