A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future.
The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
Yo mama is so fat they thought her butt was a new planet.
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion
Marraige is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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There is a lady laying in bed.
At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.”
His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.”
Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”