How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. CHING CHANG CHONG TING.
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
Why did the little Greek boy run away from home? He didn't like the way he was being reared.
Why was the math textbook so sad? He had a lot of problems!
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.
Once Chuck Norris met a man on a horse that he did'nt like, now we know him as the headless horseman.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."