Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
Yo mama is so fat they thought her butt was a new planet.
Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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