Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again... he's looking at you.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
A doctor is speaking to a patient after an examination, ‘There are two reasons for your poor health, it’s entirely due to drinking and smoking.’ ‘That’s a relief,’ replies the patient. ‘I thought you were going to say it was my fault.’
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.