Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
I never married because there was no need – I have three pets which serve the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand? A: A brunette with bad breath.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.