Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
I’m proud to say I made my money the old-fashioned way.
My dad left it to me in his will.
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face."
Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
Vote:
What has ten letters and starts with gas?
An automobile.
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together.
They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, a fly landed in each of their pints and became stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and yelled,
"SPIT IT OUT!! SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"
John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan.
He had to take the ferryboat home every night.
One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern.
Before long he was feeling no pain.
When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock.
Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.
"How did you like that jump, buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand.
"It was great," said the sailor.
"But why didn't you wait?
We were just pulling in!"
Your momma's so fat the only time she sees "90210" is when she's on a scale.
Yo momma is so fat, that the last time she farted, a director came up with the movie "Twister".