Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
A doctor is speaking to a patient after an examination, ‘There are two reasons for your poor health, it’s entirely due to drinking and smoking.’
‘That’s a relief,’ replies the patient.
‘I thought you were going to say it was my fault.’
Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo?
A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive?
A brown Probe!
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask,
"Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?"
And the blonde says,
"Because im trying to commit suicide."
I ask,
"why don't you just tie it around your neck?"
She says,
"I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.