Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
A doctor is speaking to a patient after an examination, ‘There are two reasons for your poor health, it’s entirely due to drinking and smoking.’ ‘That’s a relief,’ replies the patient. ‘I thought you were going to say it was my fault.’
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo? A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask, "Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?" And the blonde says, "Because im trying to commit suicide." I ask, "why don't you just tie it around your neck?" She says, "I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.