I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Q: What dinosaur would Harry Potter be? A: The Dinosorcerer
Yo mama so loose...when she walks down the street her pussy claps!
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
Yo' mama so stupid, she told me to meet her on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."
Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out. The genie ain't stupid.
What do you call a black woman who got an abortion? A member of crimestoppers of america.
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair. The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro. So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro? She said yes, so I was glad. Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.