A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS:
Dangerous
Excessive
Member
Of
Crazy
Rats
Vote:
Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat...
Husband: How does it help
Wife: I use your toothbrush!
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
Vote:
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head?
A: A brunette.
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch."
The teacher said "When its my break."
"Your break for what? the kid asks.
"My break up" the teacher said.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Vote:
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
Vote:
I never married because there was no need – I have three pets which serve the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.