What's the difference between a man and an ox?
Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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Yo Mommas SO POOR I SEE HER KICKING A CAN DOWN THE ROAD, I SAID "WHAT YAR DOING " SHE SAID "MOVING"!
A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS:
Dangerous
Excessive
Member
Of
Crazy
Rats
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Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat...
Husband: How does it help
Wife: I use your toothbrush!
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer.
The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, "Hey that's really neat.
Where did you get it?"
The parrot responds, "In the jungle, there's millions of them."
I never married because there was no need – I have three pets which serve the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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