Your momma's so fat the only time she sees "90210" is when she's on a scale.
Yo momma is so fat, that the last time she farted, a director came up with the movie "Twister".
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer.
The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, "Hey that's really neat.
Where did you get it?"
The parrot responds, "In the jungle, there's millions of them."
A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS:
Dangerous
Excessive
Member
Of
Crazy
Rats
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Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat...
Husband: How does it help
Wife: I use your toothbrush!
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head?
A: A brunette.
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch."
The teacher said "When its my break."
"Your break for what? the kid asks.
"My break up" the teacher said.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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