A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records.
The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’
‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man.
‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
Yo momma’s so ugly, they put her face on box of laxatives and sold it empty.
I wouldn’t say Harry was mean, but last Christmas Eve he fired a pistol in the garden and told the kids Santa had committed suicide.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face."
Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
Vote:
What has ten letters and starts with gas?
An automobile.