Yo' Mama is like a virus, if she spreads, we're all screwed.
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."