Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also blow your face.
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Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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The reason why the desert is dry is because Chuck Norris got thirsty.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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