Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.