The best animal jokes

Q. What do frogs do with paper? A. Rip-it!
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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has 49.34 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so." That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
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has 49.31 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, marriage
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, duck
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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has 49.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
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has 48.92 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist