Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic.