The best animal jokes

‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, drunk
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
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has 38.01 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog, racist
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
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has 38.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
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