The best animal jokes

A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, desert island, dog, time
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake? A: A jump rope!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
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