There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods...
Cats have never forgotten this.
Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs...
You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God!
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
I got rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat...
I miss him sometimes.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope!
What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt?
Tricera-bottoms.