The best animal jokes

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, kids
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, cop, women
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Vote: has 36.23 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, fish, husband
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, duck, party
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, health
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, men
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, women
What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible!
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More jokes about: animal
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal


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