The best animal jokes

What color socks do bears wear? (They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
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has 38.91 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
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has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, cop, women
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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has 38.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 38.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women
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