There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods...
Cats have never forgotten this.
Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs...
You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God!
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel.
I got rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat...
I miss him sometimes.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?
Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope!
Teacher: Give me an example of animal.
Jimmy: Frog
Teacher: Give me another.
Jimmy: Another Frog.
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere.
Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned.
"Finally, some company!" he thought.
While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Vote:
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt?
Tricera-bottoms.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
Vote:
What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!