Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water?
A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
What does a frog say when it sees something' great?
Toadly awesome!
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."