Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
Name an animal that lives in Lapland?
A reindeer
Good, now name another.
Another reindeer!
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
What's green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!