How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
What's green with bumps? A frog with the measles!
What’s a black spot between two white spots? A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.
What's green and red? A very mad frog.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
Why do zebras have stripes? Because the spots where all over.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’ ‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’ ‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman. ‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’