How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?" "Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.