Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play. Their mother said yes, but only for an hour. An hour later, only Out came back. Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In." About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In. Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly. "Easy." Out said. "In-stincts."
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
What's green and red? A very mad frog.