Name an animal that lives in Lapland?
A reindeer
Good, now name another.
Another reindeer!
Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.
What’s a black spot between two white spots?
A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina?
A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
Vote:
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.
How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'