There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."
A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds. It goes ching chong wu. So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound. Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river. The black guy ask was that noise. The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative. See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun. The black guy says let me try. He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.