The best animal jokes

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
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Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
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More jokes about: animal, work
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
Vote: has 60.03 % from 516 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
Vote: has 59.95 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, coding, computer, IT


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