The best animal jokes

How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, health
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, parrot
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
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has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, coding, computer, IT
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
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