Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret?
He was a blubber mouth.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
A Moles Royce.
What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice.
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
What’s the difference between cats and dogs?
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.
"One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up."
The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?"
"You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"