The best animal jokes

Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
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has 57.91 % from 427 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, health
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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has 57.45 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, women
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 57.45 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, death
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