Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs.
He was measuring just how far frogs could jump.
So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!"
The frog jumps 2 feet.
He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet."
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment.
"Jump frog jump!" he says.
The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet.
So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet."
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot.
He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot."
He continues and removes yet another leg.
"Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot.
So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally he chops off the last leg.
He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump.
"Jump frog, jump!"
The frog doesn’t move.
"Jump frog, jump!"
Again the frog stays on the line.
"Come on frog, jump!"
But to no avail.
The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
What did the calf say to the silo?
"Is my fodder in there?"
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What is the definition of "derange"?
De place where de cowboys ride.
What is a cow's favourite TV show?
Dr Moo.
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out.
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.