The best animal jokes

How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, travel
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, hospital
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, mean, sport, time
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey. Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing. He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey. After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it." "Why?" asked the lady. He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, family, racist, travel
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