The best animal jokes

Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, health
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, hospital
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, parrot
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey. Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing. He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey. After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it." "Why?" asked the lady. He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, family, racist, travel
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
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has 58.14 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, jewish
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
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has 57.96 % from 425 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
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