The best animal jokes

Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, divorce
How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Vote:
has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
Vote:
has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, music
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.  The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running.  About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.  He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.  The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.  The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.  The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
Vote:
has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, fart
<<<67686970
More jokes →
Page 67 of 153.