Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"
What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.