The best animal jokes

How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
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has 56.98 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, vulgar
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, political
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