The best animal jokes

Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, game
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
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More jokes about: animal, food
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
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More jokes about: animal
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
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More jokes about: animal, money
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
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More jokes about: animal
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, old people
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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More jokes about: animal
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
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More jokes about: animal, racist


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