The best animal jokes

What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, health
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, doctor
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
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