Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat? A: The inside.
What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."