The best animal jokes

What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, health
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, doctor
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weed
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
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has 56.81 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
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