Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God.
How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’
Boy: ‘I’m not.
I’m just holding it.
It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Vote:
What did the calf say to the silo?
"Is my fodder in there?"
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay.