This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
A Shark alarm at Sydneys Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water except for three young boys who didn't hear the siren. Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety. He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece. The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle. As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, That was the most heroic thing I've ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrows newspaper: Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark! Thanks. Smiles the fella, but I'm not an Aussie. I'm a British backpacker. No worries, said the journalist with a frown, it'll still be front-page news. The next day, the newspapers headline screamed, Pommy bastard kills boy's pet fish!