The best animal jokes

You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
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