Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!