What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.
Vote:
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs.
He was measuring just how far frogs could jump.
So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!"
The frog jumps 2 feet.
He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet."
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment.
"Jump frog jump!" he says.
The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet.
So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet."
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot.
He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot."
He continues and removes yet another leg.
"Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot.
So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally he chops off the last leg.
He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump.
"Jump frog, jump!"
The frog doesn’t move.
"Jump frog, jump!"
Again the frog stays on the line.
"Come on frog, jump!"
But to no avail.
The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
What is the definition of "moon"?
The past tense of "moo"!
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle battle.
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.