A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Vote:
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?
Haremail.
Why do polo bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place.
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.