The best animal jokes

Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, communication
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 52.76 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Vote: has 52.63 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom. Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks. After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation. "What's your name?" he says to one of the ducks. "Huey," answers the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh, that's nice," says the bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?". "Dewey," comes the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance, I would do it all again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, duck
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
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More jokes about: animal
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, football, Thanksgiving
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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More jokes about: animal, travel
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
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More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama