When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion.
The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Vote:
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!