A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.