A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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Why was cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.