The best animal jokes

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
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