A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.