Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.