Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof? A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.