My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
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Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire?
Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
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Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor?
A: Not cool.
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A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that."
Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him.
The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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