My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof? A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.
Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire? Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good." To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."