Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before."
The legless man shakes his head.
Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before."
The legless man shakes his head again.
Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before."
The legless man says, "No."
The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
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Knock-knock
Who is there?
A shattered penis with many diseases.
What kind of illness?
Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis...
Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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Joke has 63.91 % from 605 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.