Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
Vote:
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
Vote:
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote:
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
Vote:
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote:
What do u call a black priest?
Holy shit.
Vote:
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Vote:
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
Vote:
A: How do children in Baghdad do?
A: Bombastically.
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Vote: