The best black humor jokes

Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Vote: has 33.28 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
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If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
Vote: has 33.28 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, car, kitty
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Vote: has 33.22 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, school
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Vote: has 32.71 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, celebrity
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 32.50 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
Vote: has 32.30 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, fish, wife
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 31.67 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, sex
Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
Vote: has 31.48 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
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Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Vote: has 31.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote: has 31.14 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, heaven


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