A: How do children in Baghdad do? A: Bombastically.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill