The best black humor jokes

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 31.67 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, sex
Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
Vote: has 31.48 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
Vote: has 31.40 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, fish, wife
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Vote: has 31.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote: has 31.14 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, heaven
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Vote: has 31.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, vulgar, women, work
The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!
Vote: has 31.08 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
Vote: has 30.36 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 30.36 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor


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