What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan? A: With a dustpan.
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?