The best blonde jokes

Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
Vote: has 76.73 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, work
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
Vote: has 76.43 % from 146 votes. Send joke:

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A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over. A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing. The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over. The brunette joins her. Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car. The blonde watches as the car drives away. The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, blonde, car, communication, driving
Two blondes were talking together: First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?" Second: "He isn't just now my engaged." First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!" Second: "He is now my husband!"
Vote: has 76.01 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, communication, husband, stupid, ugly
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, blonde, stupid
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
Vote: has 75.94 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

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A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Vote: has 75.85 % from 189 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, women
A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. "Okay," she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither," says Jed. "Let's take these things off."
Vote: has 75.75 % from 137 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, travel, women
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake... He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
Vote: has 75.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, cowboy, women