The best blonde jokes

A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, money
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him. When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like. They came to the living room and she told him that she would like a nice, warm cream color. The contractor wrote something down on his pad, then walked to the window and yelled, "Greenside up." The lady is a little confused, but doesn't say anything, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, "I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark." The contractor writes something down on his pad, then walks to the window and again yells, "Greenside up!" The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, "I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here." The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, "Greenside up." The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, "Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?" The contractor replies, "You see, I have four blondes laying sod across the street."
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has 76.68 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A man and a blonde are at an ATM. The man says "I know you'r pincode, it's ****" and the blonde says "No it's not! It's 4829!"
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
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has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
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has 76.48 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, sex, stupid, weed
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? A: To get chocolate milk.
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has 76.32 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, chocolate, stupid
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet? A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
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has 76.22 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game, time
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
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has 76.12 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.
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has 76.01 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, ginger, stupid, travel
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