The best blonde jokes

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, driving, stupid
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, death, stupid
Death: It's your time. give me your hand Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die! Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives* Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...
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has 74.46 % from 1604 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, stupid
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!” “It’s not just one car!” said the blonde. “There’s f*ck*ng hundreds of them!”
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, husband, phone
A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping? A: She forgot to close her eyes.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts." The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blondes finds a mirror on the sidewalk. The first blonde picks it up, looks into it, and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before." The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh! Of course you have that's me!"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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