The best blonde jokes

Q: Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping? A: She forgot to close her eyes.
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
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A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!” “It’s not just one car!” said the blonde. “There’s f*ck*ng hundreds of them!”
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, husband, phone
Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet? A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
Vote: has 73.02 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, game, time
There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
Vote: has 73.02 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store? The sign said "Wet Floor."
Vote: has 72.84 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head!
Vote: has 72.83 % from 92 votes. Send joke:
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A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them. The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."
Vote: has 72.83 % from 92 votes. Send joke:
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Two blondes were talking together: First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?" Second: "He isn't just now my engaged." First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!" Second: "He is now my husband!"
Vote: has 72.79 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, communication, husband, stupid, ugly
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. "Help, help!" yells one of the blondes. "Help us, help us!" yells the other. "Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde. "Good idea," said the other. "Together, together!"
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
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Two blond girls are discussing: "Yesterday during the blackout I got stuck in the elevator for three whole hours!" "Tell me about it! I got stuck too in the escalators."
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
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