The best blonde jokes

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Vote: has 70.72 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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blonde asked someone what time it was, and the person told her it was 3:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, time
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy who works there where the country music CD's are. The salesman replies, "Try the other side." So the blonde moves to his other ear and says, "Where are the country music CD's?"
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, work
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent. At the table, the girl needs to have a fart. After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell... The father-in-law says: Rex...! Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes. After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry: Rex, be careful... With a very big relief, the girl farts again. Father-in-law says: Rex! Get out of there she’ll shit on you!
Vote: has 70.03 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

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Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river? So she could have shade when she swam across!
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde