The best blonde jokes

There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed? A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
One day, a team of blondes and a brunette team took part in a fishing contest. They went to the Frozen Lake and installed from a two different perspectives. The brunettes were making fish one after another, but the blondes were unlucky. The blonde team gathered around in a circle and start a discussion about the problem and wanted to find an answer for it. After two hours they decided to send someone to spy on the other team, so they can find out what the brunettes were doing differently. The blonde spy goes and hides behind the bushes. After a while, breathless arrives at her team and screams with joy: "I’ve found it! I’ve found it! We gonna rip them off!" All the blondes, full of wonder asked her: "Spit it out, what do the brunettes do differently?" "Whole! They’re opening a whole in the ice!"
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?  A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, stupid
A blonde's car breaks down. A cop pulls up and inquires about the group of naked men standing next to her car. The blonde says, "They're my emergency flashers."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, food, stupid
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