The best blonde jokes

A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola." The librarian says "Ma'am this is library." So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, business, food, stupid
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Vote: has 66.76 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, communication, dirty, family, stupid
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Vote: has 66.49 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder. " The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde
Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle? A: Trying to put batteries in it.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, stupid, technology
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, death, money


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