The best blonde jokes

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
A Blonde was at a gumball machine. She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
Chuck Norris Watches "the Nat.Geo. Specials" on Discovery Channel.
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call a blonde in the freezer? A: Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
Vote:
has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, sport, stupid
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
Vote:
has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"
Vote:
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, phone
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.
Vote:
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, horse
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. “Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?” “No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.” “So then?” asked the doctor. “Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.” “So then?” “Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Vote:
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, money
<<<54555657
More jokes →
Page 54 of 79.