How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner
"Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom."
The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob.
So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis.
So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it.
One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp.
Dusting it off, the genie came out.
"I will grant you each a wish," he said.
"Why not," thought the blondes.
"It's worth a try."
"I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island".
She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away.
"I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately.
The third and last blonde thought for a while.
"I want to be a man."
She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.
The sing said: Disneyland Left.
So they started crying and headed home.
Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A. Because she blows the horn!
If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them:
Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes
Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes
Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males
Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait
Bimbag - a blonde's purse
Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag
Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes
Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes
Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard
Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything
Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook
Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her
Bimboette - a young blonde
Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else
Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes
Bimboozle - to fool a blonde
Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence
Bimbozo - another name for a blonde
Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes
Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde
Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is
Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t, they’re born that way!
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields.
One blonde says, "Look over there!"
They see another blonde in scuba gear acting like she's swimming through the wheat.
The blonde driving says, "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name."
The other blonde says, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."