How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.
How do you entertain a blonde? tell her to find a corner in a circle room
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello? A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard? A. Grade 4.