Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training. As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away. Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use. Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse. Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again. Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? "You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered.
How do you determine a blonde’s IQ? With a tyre gauge.
Why do blondes like lightning? "They think someone is taking their picture."
Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? She said they were pretty good, but might offend some Puerto Ricans.