There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all stranded on an island. One day they found a genie and he said he would grant them three wishes. All three of them agreed that each of them would get one wish each. The brunette said, "I wish I was home in my bed and that this never happened." and poof, her wish was granted. The redhead said, "I wish that I was at home in my bed and this never happened." and poof, her wish was granted. Then the blond said, "I wish my friends were here with me."
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? ‘It’s okay, Daddy, I’m not hurt.’
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break? If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around for three weeks after you dump your load into it.
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? "You keep hearing about them, but never see any."