Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Two bums are sitting talking.
The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever!
This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground.
So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever."
The second bum just laughs,
"That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks.
You know what I did?
I fucked her all day long."
The other bum interrupts, "Bull!
You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life."
The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?"
The other replies no.
"How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?"
To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
Vote:
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.
The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.
He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.
The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway.
She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing.
After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
How do blondes pierce their ears?
They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
Why do blondes clean their hair in the sink?
Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland.
She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A. Divorcee'