Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.