The best Chuck Norris jokes

A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
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