Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.