Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.