Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.