Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World... War.
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.