Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.