Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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