The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.

Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.

Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.

Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.

Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.

Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.